ajaq

“it’s all in what you do. say it with your action.” - chrisette michelle.

it’s true, you know. words don’t mean a thing. one can say things he/she does not mean with their heart. like my prof said,”say what u mean, and mean what u say”.. but it’s hard. even for me. we’re all hypocrite at one point of our life. so an action won’t prove otherwise, i assume. sometimes we dont use words coz we’re afraid that it might hurt others. but for some, if it doesn’t come with words, well, they tend to take it for granted. what a weird world right?

btw, i’m back in kl. life’s in slim river without my internet access has got the worst of me. yikes, i’ve spent >rm60 on my hp credits just to get internet access. yikeeesss~ [thx to akmal yg tlg top-upkan ye].. gosh, but paediatrics in HSR was fun. the specialist (Dr Iftikhar Ahmad aka Dr Ahmad) is SUPER nice.. and the MOs were kind. and helpful. and HOs were great. hoho. oh btw, Dr suzana, slmt bakal jadi pengantin ye.. we’ll send our love over to your house later ye,.. (*_*)… can’t believe that the posting is almost over. but we still have classes with prof R next week. and assessments - longcase & shortcases..again. hmm.. i’ve “scan” thru the patients in the ward this morning, and it seemed as if my prof has a number of endocrine patients. one with DKA and another hypopitituarism. aishh.. lots of reading tonight i guess. and my old patient with nephrotic syndrome is apparently still in the ward. her atypical presentation of persistent hypertension requires further referral to nephrologist. so how on earth am i going to be able to write about her progression and discharge summary?? and the funny thing is that i need to pass up my cwu this week. aissshhhh~~ pray for her recovery. a fast one.

next week will be the beginning of our study month. means that we dont have to go to wards, lectures. etc. four weeks. of studying. intense studying. can i go thru it? (*-*)”…

off for now. i’m in love with Ye Sung for now. love his voice. and his songs.

tata.

p/s: cant wait to go home tomorrow. cant believe i manage to stay here for more than 2 months, without “cabut lari”… hahah~

pp/s: please carry your thoughts elsewhere. i need space of my own.

no. i can’t read between the minds. i don’t like others to have that ability too. well, what’s on my mind is strictly mine, not others’ to interpret. but i’m not the person to storm out and let everything out of my mouth. no way, my stupid mouth has got its own risk. like what’s been said of me before, i’m not an angry person, but i’ll be hot-tempered when things don’t go my way. Radi used to say that i could read her mind, well, actually i did not. i just blatantly predict what she was doing at the moment  and hey, i hit the jackpot. so radi, if u’re reading this, the answer is “no, i could not read your thought. and you didnt have thought broadcasting..hhaha”.

i’m going to Sg Kurus again this evening. this time for paeds. that peaceful place. i pray hard that i’d get my serenity there. and able to start study there. for my pro-exam. wargh.

i just got news that we’ll be starting our housemanship on 14th July. it means that the Induksi & BTN will start 2 weeks before that. which means that i might not be able to attend Arieff’s wedding. damn! aisshhh~ again, pray hard that it’s not true. =(

ok, signing off now. meet u in 2 weeks time.

p/s: i wont be bringing my laptop and broadband with me. mode = buang tebiat. don’t know how i’ll survive then. hahah~ tata!

it’s sunday again. 10/01/10. quite a magic number. only comes once in my whole lifetime, i guess.

i’ve just finished my prHO week in paediatric. that stands for pre-registered house officer. which means that students have to act like the real HO, clerking cases, following rounds, stays 36hours for oncalls. this week we had to do 2 oncalls, on monday and friday.  yeah, a bit of tough works there, but hey, like what that akak nurse said to me in the middle of the night, “dah tu..nak sgt jadi doktor kan, haaa..byk lagi oncall lepas jd HO nnti”…hooo~ and the best part is that she was 99% right.  nevermind, i enjoyed my week, though being tied down with so many things in hand. i learned so many things within that 5 days, saw and managed a case of AEBA, 2 cases of AGE, 2 cases of croup, one nephrotic syndrome, hmmm..and 3 cases of dengue. we were oncall last friday, had new admissions flowing in like a river, and i was on my feet since 7am till 1 am the next day. me, kimah, fazrul, Dr S and Dr H - we all were like crazy doctors in the ward, reviewing the patients since the “you-know-who” was oncall with us that night. and when she called up, we froze. and then, Dr K put the telephone down, turned to us and said,” well, we just finish our round tonight”.. we all SCREAMED - what a relief!!!! hahahahahah~ well, i’m blessed afterall… =P

anyway, i managed to get a quick nap postcall since my housemates planned to go for picnic the next day. i was still “mamai” when we reached Sg Gabai. but since the water was so damn cold, i guess i woke up there and then. haha. ira prepared sandwiches, zana fried some nuggets, and encik ira cooked us nasi lemak. hoho.. free foods! and all of them are so de-li-ci-ous!!! plus, i didnt get my dinner the night before, so you could understand why i manage to gulp in 2 sandwiches, endless pieces of nuggets, and one whole plate of nasi lemak, with sambal udang, telur, ikan bilis,…. and not to forget, 2 Big Apple donuts… kembung giler! we had fun and i must say, the weather was on our side. it only started to rain once we reached college. what a good way to sleep thru your tiring evening, right? oh, btw, ira has already uploaded the pics in FB. and haha, my pics were awkwardly terrible.. ~ =P

ok, gotta end here now. i’ve finished reading my forensic notes –> we have forensic exams next Saturday! aishhh… do wish me the best! and i have to see prof syed for seminar this monday, and oh before that, a shortcase assessment with prof rahmah.. lalalalalal~ i need my ahad to re-energize myself. so now, i’m going to watch a movie, which i downloaded last wednesday - havent had the time to watch it before. ok. dozing off now. tata.

p/s: res ipsa loquitor : the thing speaks for itself. in latin. ( it shows. your hardwork, your attitude. yourself. you.)

goodnight!

i just got back from oncall in NICU. apparently this is how i’m going to spend my public holidays in the coming years. i guess this is what we get when we apply to med school. haha. kidding! i’m in paediatric posting now, my last posting for this final year. i’ve got Prof Rahmah as my supervisor, who is superkind, and so motherly towards us. and Alhamdulillah, the first week has passed with quite a good start, i must say. and my turn for PRHO is next week, two oncalls - on Monday and Friday. i pray hard that i can do well during my PRHO week, coz i guess that’s when i will learn the most. as u might’ve know, i’m not into paediatric as much as other postings, most probably becoz i dont really like to handle kids, since they require extra attention, too much into details etc. well, that’s just not me. but i’ll do my best. =)

hey, 2010 is around the corner. in fact, it’s an hour before the clock strikes at 12. my 2010’s resolutions are almost similar like my 2009’s, which was to ensure my 2008’s come to reality. hahaha. i guess, procrastination is a thief of time. well, not entirely true. i did work on some of my 08’s and 09’s resolutions, but to say that i’ve succeeded , i can’t be sure of it myself.  perhaps it’ll show on my pro-exam results in March. hehe~

mom, dad and akhmal are on their way for Cuti2 Malaysia at this very moment. they’re going north, and maybe take the turn to Terengganu and Kelantan before heading back to Johor. aishh.. my eyes are green with envy. how i miss the school holidays, and the feeling post-major exams. and how i hate the feeling of anxiety pre-major exams, like what i’m experiencing now.

okay, my eyes are having ptosis now. want to get an early off tonight, so that tomorrow i can wake up as early as possible, to greet the new year of 2010.

p/s: HAPPY NEW YEAR! May Allah bless us all with good health, wealth and lifelong happiness. =)

I’m down with URTI while I’m writing this entry. Keep on coughing and sneezing. Aishh~and I could see my inflamed throat, clearly visualized on my own mirror. Gosh! It started since last Saturday, during our Medical Bioethic Symposium, and lasted till today.

So

1) chief complaint – productive cough, runny nose, fever, generalized body ache x 5/7

2) Hx of presenting illness – no wheezing/SOB/contact with PTB/ UTI sx/nausea/vomiting. Systemic review was unremarkable. Took PCM and Benadryl , but did not resolved. No hx of jungle trekking/swimming.

3) PMH/PSH/Drug Hx – nil. No known allergy.

4) FH – Father – hypertension. Others healthy

5) SH – student, single, non-smoker/alcohol consumer.

Provisional Dx – URTI

Diff Dx – Pneumonia?

Ix – 1) Blood – WCC (haven’t take yet),

2) Sputum – C&S

3) CXR?

Mx – Keep resting, give symptomatic relief – PCM for fever, antihistamine for cough n sneezing. And keep on sleeping. Hehehehhehe~

Aiyaaaa….need to get better real fast one! Luckily tomorrow is Awal Muharram, then we all have one day off. I’m going back to get some rest at home.

p/s: off for now. Tata. Btw, akmal’s SPM is over. So we’ll be celebrating it over the weekend. So really hope that I’ll be better by Friday. Daaa~

p/s: Ia berlari2, tapi x bisa kukejar  :: my runny nose. =P

hi. i’m sitting in my room, looking out through the window. today’s a sunny day. only then i realize there’s an empty bottle placed on the shelves. “Appletizer” - that’s what written on the bottle. it’s a bottle that Sarah gave to me when i was madly in love with the idea of having my own little garden in my room. haha. and stood next to it, were a snow-globe with 2 bears in it - the one Zana gave to me as my birthday gift; a rocking “sunny baby” which was also a birthday gift, and a mini red lamp that i bought a few years ago when i went to shop for some presents in TimesQuare.. i guess every little things has their own stories right? and these little stories are the ones that give the colours in our life right?

okay, i’m back in college. tomorrow’s a new start in surgery, with team vascular. guess i’ll have to get into the mood and start being busy, after spending such a “honeymoon” time in teluk intan. nvm, i’ll be ok. ( +,+)!!

my grandma’s moving in to stay with my aunt today. my parents will be sending her over after Zohor, so i guess i’ll be seeing them this evening. i really hope that she’s gonna be ok in the new place. gonna miss her soon.

it’s YES time - year end sale. and yesterday was really fun. we went shopping in CM, PS and KLCC. gosh. i hate having my ATM card with me. i guess somehow the Debit card is helping me to spend more. aishh~ but it was worth it. bought a perfume for me, mom and dad. and bought a new purse. and almost grab a new handbag..hahahah~ aish. how to control this “boros” attitude of mine? *sighhhhhssss*….

ok. off for now. need to finish 2 chapters today. adiozz.

p/s: if i could fall into the sky, do u think time will pass me by? countdown begins - 13 weeks more till exam. aishh~

i bet the city streets wont be as empty as Eid Fitri, but hey, Eid Adha is here. we’ll be celebrating it tomorrow, but here i am, stuck in KL. but not to worry, i’m going home at 630pm. just gotta finish a case write up. and do some laundry. Teluk Intan was okay, i guess. I have another week there. what’s cool about doing posting there is the supervisor. i believe everyone i know will agree with me to the fact that Mr Rizal is a good and cool lecturer. hoho. yep, the most important fact - A is airport and F is Fake; that’ll linger longer than i live, i must say.

anyway, i don’t know what to do now. i’ve been listening to the audiobook of The Picture of Dorian Gray. haha. i havent manage to buy the classic novel of Oscar Wilde, so i downloaded the file. but i guess reading off the monitor was not fun as reading the hardcopy itself. so i downloaded its audiobook, hoping that i could “read” it wherever i go, since i am “attached” to my iPod almost 24/7 (with a few exceptions la..hooo~). so far, the story is intriguing. i’ve reached the 9th chapter, the part when Dorian put a new frame to his portrait and keep it in an isolated room, far away from the peering eyes. well, to speak the truth, i was watching the trailer for its movie re-make, which had Ben Barnes in it, to play Dorian himself. he is hot, way too hot. and he suits Dorian very well. =P too bad the movie’s not showing here, and my “source”, en chem, was not able to get its dvd-ripped movie. aishh.

it’s been raining these days. but alhamdulillah, today’s sky is crystal clear, with beautiful clouds. i dont know why, but i was in love in with clouds..i am still, to be exact. it’s the main subject for my love for photography, though my only camera is my sonyericsson w610i. hoo~ but still, it helped me to capture the most amazing view on the mysterious clouds. well, one of my aims in life is to know what it’s like to be in a cloud, and i managed to achieve that; it happened when i was in the plane. (well, indirectly. i WAS IN the cloud. =P). and it aint smooth as it seemed. it moves, it could be gigantic or as thin as one strand of hair, it could be as white, shiny like the sun, and it could be as dark as the darkest of night. and of course, my other wish was to see with my own naked eyes, the top of Kaabah. Praise be to Allah, i had the chance to perform my Hajj with my whole family when i was 16. and insyaAllah, i pray to get the chance and rezeki to visit the Holy land once again, with my family, especially my mom and dad. aishh. i missed the tranquility there, the peaceful environment, a place where we need not to worry about other worldly matters, we could just focus on clearing our souls, and solely give ourselves to the Creator. hmmm..

my big bro’s engagement will be held this weekend. i pray hard that he’ll have his own beautiful happy family. hmm.

okay then, it’s almost Zohor now. gotta do the prayer first, then go for lunch. Salam, and Happy Aidiladha.

p/s: Today’s my Dad’s birthday. 26/11.. havent gotten him his present yet. any idea?

pp/s: pray that the beautiful clouds will stay all day.

hi,this is my 2nd entry for today.well, technically it is my 2nd coz my 1st which i wrote at 3pm just got erased when i got disconnected. so here i am again, hoping to make an exact virtual copy of what i’ve written just now. hmm. where and what to begin with? ok, it’s another normal,boring,all-day raining saturday. it’s 815pm now, which reminded me that i should’ve continue reading my surgery textbook since 15mins ago. but i couldn’t concentrate. guess probably ’cause i’ve been reading since morning. nahh, don’t worry, i was only able to finish off 2 chapters in approxmately 12hours. ahah. and now i’ve been listening to JJ’s album which i copied off from Lawrence’s a few years back. guess it has a kind of soothing effect when you listen to something that you don’t even understand a word of. right?

well, tomorrow’s our mock exam for the upcoming pro-exam which will be held in March. yikes, another 3 months to go. and i still haven’t master all the PE skills. i guess it’s some kind of a blessing in disguise when i wasn’t chosen to be one of the candidates for tomorrow. i’m one of the 180 students who get to only observe our 48 other colleagues taking exam tomorrow. hmm. i still lack in my theories, which is the perfect reason to start stuffing up my brain with all of the info, or i shall better put it as to rack everything off from the very back of my mind. like my doctors used to say, “somewhere in your occipital lobe” which is weird since occipital lobe’s mainly for vision. haha. i guess it has to be bcoz of its position then. heheh~

anyway, i learned new things from Max today.

1) humans were endlessly illogical. he made a point when he said “why people throw food away when they know there are people dying of starvation?”, and “why make rules when people strongly believe that they’re meant to be broken?”..there’s so many things that seem illogical to us, yet we havent manage to notice it.

2) love yourself first. there’s no point to spend recklessly on utterly stupid things, thinking that others would love us for that, when in reality, they will only love the things, not us.

3) God gives us relatives, so be thankful that we can choose our friends. yes, he’s right. it’s on us to choose our clique right? so pick wisely.

4) it’s not wrong to be relatively slightly far from normal. because no one can define what normality really is.

…..and i also read an interesting email from a very good friend of mine, entitled “Kerana Dia Manusia Biasa”. a lovely one indeed. after reading through the email, i think to myself, it is not in our jurisdiction to predict what can happen in the future; where we’ll live in, with whom we’ll live with, how much money we’ll make. because we’re only people a.k.a human beings. we’re not God. but He said it clearly in his Quran, only those who works hard can help themselves. it may be a “que sera sera”, but still, the future’s not ours to see, but we can always work on them to be a better and greener one.

well, i’ll be spending the next 3 weeks in Teluk Intan. yikes. ~b.o.r.i.n.g~

p/s: hanya kerana dia manusia biasa, bukan bermakna dia boleh melakukan segalanya tanpa menghiraukan perasaan yang lain, kan?

adios. and salam.

pp/s: my years of waiting and searching has come to its end. but what i found was not what i expected them to be. so i’ll just move on. and live.

dan akhirnya, it’s the final day for medicine posting. yikes! though Dr Hamizah clearly said “all of u r still lacking in theories”, but i think “naah.i think we’ll do just fine, given enough pressure in the few months to come..” hehe.. but, let’s give it a thought again. she’s right. i mean personally, me;myself, i’m still not “well-prepared” yet.hmm..3 more months to go before the pro-exam hits the ground, and i’m still blur..i’ll do my best then.

cant wait for tomorrow.goin back. sangat la mengidam nak makan ikan & sotong & udang bakar yg sedap…yummy! btw, actually just got back from watching Pisau Cukur wif a bunch of frens at midvel. nice story, well-played character by fazura n maya karin. luv aaron aziz n that cute “cousin faqir” in tht muvi. but i think he’ll look cuter and better off without the gigi besi. he3. but x bley lawan Papadom la. that muvi’s packed wif laughter la. from scene A to Z. haha.highly recommended.

my next posting will be surgery.i’ll be under vascular team, wif Mr Azim as our supervisor. my groupmates - ygshan, azma, azhar, nadem. i hvnt got the chance to be under this team before this, so i’m “looking forward” for it. though i prefer HPB team;my 3rd year team (coz i think i’ve learned a lot from Prof Razman). but either way, this posting will still be one of my favorite postings, besides ortho (and suprisingly OnG)..

ok, off for now. pelikkan, wlupun i took coffee at mcD juz now, but still rase ngantuk..aishh.. ok, nite. esok still have to follow rounds in medical 5. nitee!

“cukup sudah kesedihan merebut hariku, hentikan sebak didadaku.. ku yakin, semua kan berlalu…”

hi. tu sebenarnya lirik from lagu Melly Goeslaw “Cukup”. nice song, touching indeed. and i dedicated to my gals, who are having a rough time now..cheer up, and trust me, though time can heal the wound, but the scar will always be there..so if xnak ade scar, gunela biO-oil ye..hehehe..(cam buat iklan komersial plak..lalalal~)..

btw, i’m in teluk intan now. doing posting medicine here. thank God it’s only for 4 1/2 day sahaje..isnin till jumaat..or else, i;ll be as kematu as the hardest rock can be..nasib baik bawak broadband sendiri, if not..aishh…just imagine how messed up i can be la…

i didn’t do any reading today..or shall i say it, tonight. watched a DVD with my housemates here in TI..watched ” it’s a boy/girl thing”.. cute romantic comedy with cute hero..die ade lesung pipit yg comel.lalalalala~ plus tomorrow’s jumaat la..jumaat is weekend..(only not applicable for tomorrow, since we’ll be hvg class wif Dr Lim at 11am…naseb baik la She’s supernice…if x, kompem saye mogok..heheh..[ shhh..jgn bgtau prof2 saye di hukm ye..]..)…

and i’ll be heading home this saturday. mom wanted me to come home, she said she has this one particular “gossip” that she wanted to tell me, but not via the phone (like we always do..hehe)..i’ve no idea what it is that she’s trying to tell me, but surely, i hate all those secrecy. i mean, hey, after all, it’s just ME right? wht’s up with all the ” i cant talk about it thru the phone” and “we need to talk face-to-face” thingy??…aishh..suspens je la mak nie kan? papepun, my osmet2 yg kecoh itu sudah pun tau ttg nie, and i bet they’ll be sticking to my back to know abt the detailss…aishsh..better get myself ready for some kicking action..

ok, its 1221 now. gotta get some break now. esok plan nk buat minicex..hehe~ nanite!