ajaq

i bet the city streets wont be as empty as Eid Fitri, but hey, Eid Adha is here. we’ll be celebrating it tomorrow, but here i am, stuck in KL. but not to worry, i’m going home at 630pm. just gotta finish a case write up. and do some laundry. Teluk Intan was okay, i guess. I have another week there. what’s cool about doing posting there is the supervisor. i believe everyone i know will agree with me to the fact that Mr Rizal is a good and cool lecturer. hoho. yep, the most important fact - A is airport and F is Fake; that’ll linger longer than i live, i must say.

anyway, i don’t know what to do now. i’ve been listening to the audiobook of The Picture of Dorian Gray. haha. i havent manage to buy the classic novel of Oscar Wilde, so i downloaded the file. but i guess reading off the monitor was not fun as reading the hardcopy itself. so i downloaded its audiobook, hoping that i could “read” it wherever i go, since i am “attached” to my iPod almost 24/7 (with a few exceptions la..hooo~). so far, the story is intriguing. i’ve reached the 9th chapter, the part when Dorian put a new frame to his portrait and keep it in an isolated room, far away from the peering eyes. well, to speak the truth, i was watching the trailer for its movie re-make, which had Ben Barnes in it, to play Dorian himself. he is hot, way too hot. and he suits Dorian very well. =P too bad the movie’s not showing here, and my “source”, en chem, was not able to get its dvd-ripped movie. aishh.

it’s been raining these days. but alhamdulillah, today’s sky is crystal clear, with beautiful clouds. i dont know why, but i was in love in with clouds..i am still, to be exact. it’s the main subject for my love for photography, though my only camera is my sonyericsson w610i. hoo~ but still, it helped me to capture the most amazing view on the mysterious clouds. well, one of my aims in life is to know what it’s like to be in a cloud, and i managed to achieve that; it happened when i was in the plane. (well, indirectly. i WAS IN the cloud. =P). and it aint smooth as it seemed. it moves, it could be gigantic or as thin as one strand of hair, it could be as white, shiny like the sun, and it could be as dark as the darkest of night. and of course, my other wish was to see with my own naked eyes, the top of Kaabah. Praise be to Allah, i had the chance to perform my Hajj with my whole family when i was 16. and insyaAllah, i pray to get the chance and rezeki to visit the Holy land once again, with my family, especially my mom and dad. aishh. i missed the tranquility there, the peaceful environment, a place where we need not to worry about other worldly matters, we could just focus on clearing our souls, and solely give ourselves to the Creator. hmmm..

my big bro’s engagement will be held this weekend. i pray hard that he’ll have his own beautiful happy family. hmm.

okay then, it’s almost Zohor now. gotta do the prayer first, then go for lunch. Salam, and Happy Aidiladha.

p/s: Today’s my Dad’s birthday. 26/11.. havent gotten him his present yet. any idea?

pp/s: pray that the beautiful clouds will stay all day.

hi,this is my 2nd entry for today.well, technically it is my 2nd coz my 1st which i wrote at 3pm just got erased when i got disconnected. so here i am again, hoping to make an exact virtual copy of what i’ve written just now. hmm. where and what to begin with? ok, it’s another normal,boring,all-day raining saturday. it’s 815pm now, which reminded me that i should’ve continue reading my surgery textbook since 15mins ago. but i couldn’t concentrate. guess probably ’cause i’ve been reading since morning. nahh, don’t worry, i was only able to finish off 2 chapters in approxmately 12hours. ahah. and now i’ve been listening to JJ’s album which i copied off from Lawrence’s a few years back. guess it has a kind of soothing effect when you listen to something that you don’t even understand a word of. right?

well, tomorrow’s our mock exam for the upcoming pro-exam which will be held in March. yikes, another 3 months to go. and i still haven’t master all the PE skills. i guess it’s some kind of a blessing in disguise when i wasn’t chosen to be one of the candidates for tomorrow. i’m one of the 180 students who get to only observe our 48 other colleagues taking exam tomorrow. hmm. i still lack in my theories, which is the perfect reason to start stuffing up my brain with all of the info, or i shall better put it as to rack everything off from the very back of my mind. like my doctors used to say, “somewhere in your occipital lobe” which is weird since occipital lobe’s mainly for vision. haha. i guess it has to be bcoz of its position then. heheh~

anyway, i learned new things from Max today.

1) humans were endlessly illogical. he made a point when he said “why people throw food away when they know there are people dying of starvation?”, and “why make rules when people strongly believe that they’re meant to be broken?”..there’s so many things that seem illogical to us, yet we havent manage to notice it.

2) love yourself first. there’s no point to spend recklessly on utterly stupid things, thinking that others would love us for that, when in reality, they will only love the things, not us.

3) God gives us relatives, so be thankful that we can choose our friends. yes, he’s right. it’s on us to choose our clique right? so pick wisely.

4) it’s not wrong to be relatively slightly far from normal. because no one can define what normality really is.

…..and i also read an interesting email from a very good friend of mine, entitled “Kerana Dia Manusia Biasa”. a lovely one indeed. after reading through the email, i think to myself, it is not in our jurisdiction to predict what can happen in the future; where we’ll live in, with whom we’ll live with, how much money we’ll make. because we’re only people a.k.a human beings. we’re not God. but He said it clearly in his Quran, only those who works hard can help themselves. it may be a “que sera sera”, but still, the future’s not ours to see, but we can always work on them to be a better and greener one.

well, i’ll be spending the next 3 weeks in Teluk Intan. yikes. ~b.o.r.i.n.g~

p/s: hanya kerana dia manusia biasa, bukan bermakna dia boleh melakukan segalanya tanpa menghiraukan perasaan yang lain, kan?

adios. and salam.

pp/s: my years of waiting and searching has come to its end. but what i found was not what i expected them to be. so i’ll just move on. and live.

dan akhirnya, it’s the final day for medicine posting. yikes! though Dr Hamizah clearly said “all of u r still lacking in theories”, but i think “naah.i think we’ll do just fine, given enough pressure in the few months to come..” hehe.. but, let’s give it a thought again. she’s right. i mean personally, me;myself, i’m still not “well-prepared” yet.hmm..3 more months to go before the pro-exam hits the ground, and i’m still blur..i’ll do my best then.

cant wait for tomorrow.goin back. sangat la mengidam nak makan ikan & sotong & udang bakar yg sedap…yummy! btw, actually just got back from watching Pisau Cukur wif a bunch of frens at midvel. nice story, well-played character by fazura n maya karin. luv aaron aziz n that cute “cousin faqir” in tht muvi. but i think he’ll look cuter and better off without the gigi besi. he3. but x bley lawan Papadom la. that muvi’s packed wif laughter la. from scene A to Z. haha.highly recommended.

my next posting will be surgery.i’ll be under vascular team, wif Mr Azim as our supervisor. my groupmates - ygshan, azma, azhar, nadem. i hvnt got the chance to be under this team before this, so i’m “looking forward” for it. though i prefer HPB team;my 3rd year team (coz i think i’ve learned a lot from Prof Razman). but either way, this posting will still be one of my favorite postings, besides ortho (and suprisingly OnG)..

ok, off for now. pelikkan, wlupun i took coffee at mcD juz now, but still rase ngantuk..aishh.. ok, nite. esok still have to follow rounds in medical 5. nitee!

“cukup sudah kesedihan merebut hariku, hentikan sebak didadaku.. ku yakin, semua kan berlalu…”

hi. tu sebenarnya lirik from lagu Melly Goeslaw “Cukup”. nice song, touching indeed. and i dedicated to my gals, who are having a rough time now..cheer up, and trust me, though time can heal the wound, but the scar will always be there..so if xnak ade scar, gunela biO-oil ye..hehehe..(cam buat iklan komersial plak..lalalal~)..

btw, i’m in teluk intan now. doing posting medicine here. thank God it’s only for 4 1/2 day sahaje..isnin till jumaat..or else, i;ll be as kematu as the hardest rock can be..nasib baik bawak broadband sendiri, if not..aishh…just imagine how messed up i can be la…

i didn’t do any reading today..or shall i say it, tonight. watched a DVD with my housemates here in TI..watched ” it’s a boy/girl thing”.. cute romantic comedy with cute hero..die ade lesung pipit yg comel.lalalalala~ plus tomorrow’s jumaat la..jumaat is weekend..(only not applicable for tomorrow, since we’ll be hvg class wif Dr Lim at 11am…naseb baik la She’s supernice…if x, kompem saye mogok..heheh..[ shhh..jgn bgtau prof2 saye di hukm ye..]..)…

and i’ll be heading home this saturday. mom wanted me to come home, she said she has this one particular “gossip” that she wanted to tell me, but not via the phone (like we always do..hehe)..i’ve no idea what it is that she’s trying to tell me, but surely, i hate all those secrecy. i mean, hey, after all, it’s just ME right? wht’s up with all the ” i cant talk about it thru the phone” and “we need to talk face-to-face” thingy??…aishh..suspens je la mak nie kan? papepun, my osmet2 yg kecoh itu sudah pun tau ttg nie, and i bet they’ll be sticking to my back to know abt the detailss…aishsh..better get myself ready for some kicking action..

ok, its 1221 now. gotta get some break now. esok plan nk buat minicex..hehe~ nanite!

salam. selamat hari sabtu. it’s a wonderful day indeed, and i hope it’s going to stay that way till tomorrow too. btw, it’s deepavali. so i’m wishing Kak Shan n famili - hepi deepavali. i’m sure by now that my card has reached its destination already, so if it’s not there yet, blame the postman..hahaha..naah,,kidding..

i’m in medicine posting. so far it has been very “educational”.. almost gotten myself a scold from a registrar..hahah, but i guess, it’s ok. my fault anyway. oh yea, JPA scholars are happy this week, and i bet most of them ( i mean, us..including me..hehe) are going out today, to have a blast weekend. me n zana are going out tonight, gonna get some dinner and watch a movie..it’s been a while since both of us going out together..it’s supposed to be a “house” reunion, but sarah’s not coming as her parents are coming to town, and ira - probably tired coz she’s going out this morning. pray that it’ll be a good night tonight.

ok. signing out. gotta finish reading the K&C. as Dr Hamizah said, the skills are there, but the theories are lacking..aishh…when did i become retrograde amnesia nie? heheheh.

p/s: rahsia itu - jodoh, ajal, rezeki..semuanya di tangan Allah, kan? who are we to question Him? peace!

it’s 1256am now, which means i’m almost an hour older than what i was an hour ago..got it? nvm..btw, thx to all who celebrated my bday half an hour prior to 30/9..esp my housemates - ira n sarah, my groupmates, and sume yg ade kat ibnu sina td..a big THX coz dpt abiskan kek itu..hehe..x larat nk makan sorg2 nnti..

like what Kak Shan wished me just now, i’m gonna be smiling all day long, and hoping for the best today..though not being able to go out and ronggeng all i want since got class from 8am-11pm today (ade Interfaith session at night..arghh~)..but i’m gonna keep it cool..coz nk celebrate kt rumah dis weekend…hehehe..

so, again, a big bunch of thankYous to all..and do wish me the best in everything..

p/s: and for the wish on the cake “jgn moody2 slalu” tu,..hahah..takbley blarr..that’s my trademark la..if i asik senyum2 and sengih2 je karang, orang lain musti berasa pelik bin ajaib nnti..hehehe…thx y’all~

salam.. it’s friday and it’s the 2nd last day of Ramadhan..(sob3)..time passed by, and i certainly do hope that i’m able to have another Ramadhan next year and years to come. no class for today, so here i am, sitting in my *clean* room ( baru je lepas kemas..hehe) and reading my new novel - Instructions For Living Someone Else’s Life..lagak mcm la dah khatam sume buku medicine kan?? tapi xpe, it’s holiday, so we must have the holiday spirit with us, right? hoho~.. by the way, my bus is at 430pm, and now it’s only 1120am..i’m planning to do some laundry afterwards, take the garbage bag, and do some more cleaning. i guess sweeping aint enough for my room..

yesterday we (my study group mates) went for buka Puasa in CNS - the most nostalgic place for us..hahah..it’s been years since we left Kg Baru..but we visited CNS a million times since then..actually we were planning to go for someplace flashy and classy, tapi since JPA x masuk lagi, and we all had just went shop-till-u-drop shopping for raya, so plan was cancelled. instead we headed for our comfort food there..i’m in medicine posting right now. the first week was allocated for dermatology classes only..aishhh…i have no idea how boring it is till i was in it..thank God that this week = 4 days sahaja..kalau tak, sure dah kematu otak ni dgr lecture..heheheh~ plus, Raya mood is invading all our minds and hearts..so nak xnak, mood study is pushed aside la kan? =P

ok, tak tau nak tulis ape lagi. so HEPI RAYA DAY again! wish all of you safe journey, good money (wink*) and good food…hooo~

hey..i couldnt believe it when they told me that we’ll be celebrating Raya next week..wahh..time did fly and passed us by so quickly..but i dont really have mood for this raya..didnt know why..i havent bought my own baju raya..but i went shopping at Jln Tar twice..1st visit was with Sarah n Ijan, bought a few tudung and brooch for my mom..2nd trip was yesterday, with Nisa, bough another few tudung, again for my mom since this time she wanted purple instead of black and grey, the ones that she requsted the other day.. and still, i didnt buy my own.. well, i did buy something for myself..a pair of jeans and a blouse. itu sahaja..eh, no, no..and a pair of sandal since my old selipar has gotten old..hahaa..me & shoes - it’s an addiction..

anyway, my big bro brought us a big news..( i’d like to think of it as the bomb)..he’s thinking of getting married next year..and he wanted my parents to ask for his girlfriend’s hands next Raya Aidiladha…goshhh…it was all too soon..yeah, maybe i havent ready to get a new sister (well, in fact,, i dont even have a sister…just Kak Shan whom i consider as my own when she was still with my big bro..)..anyway, yeah..arieff has already planning all the stuff for the merisik, the engagement and the wedding..as usual, my day (the big planner) started to do his calculation etc), my mom ( sweet mom..) dah buat2 mengelabah…she started talking abut rings, beds, flowers, etc…aisshhh..and us ( akhmal and me)..we “buat bodo” je la..it’s not us who’s getting married rite? whatever it is, i do hope and pray for arieff’s happiness.. though we were once like cats and dogs, i do love my brothers as they all that i have whom i can call my own..hoo~ ( sedih la plak bunyinye..hahahah)

this is 3rd weekend..no, my 4th weekend alone in college. i’ve spent the last 2 weeks of ramadhan alone, and another 1 week with sarah. ira n zana spent theirs in teluk intan.. mom told me to go and buka puasa with my other friends,, but typical me, i was too lazy to walk to another block, and buka puase with them…i’d walk with them to the bazar, here, in front of HUKM, but i wont buka puase at their place..i dont know why..but i prefer to eat alone, when i am alone..i guess i’ve been a lone ranger since i was small and it’s hard to set aside my old habits.  but thankfully, i’ll be spending the last week of ramadhan with ira n sarah..=)

emergency medicine was over, and next posting is medicine. cant say that i love it so much, and cant say that i hate it too..but i do pray that i’ll learn and register new info in this small brain of mine..i really need to find my motivation to keep on fighting in this tough world.. as my mood is currently unstable ( yes, again….aisshs)…so i do hope i find peace in this posting..hahahah

ok, gotta go now..if i havent got the chance to write again before Syawal’s here, Hepi Raya Day in advance ok?

p/s: encountered some selfish people these days..all they could think of is themselves, and everything that is in their favor..aishhhh.. pray hard that Allah gives me enough strength to handle these people…btw, memungkiri janji is salah satu ciri2 munafik kan? …renung2kan, dan selamat beramal ( gaya Prof Izzi..)hehehhe

hey..baru lepas solat subuh nie..i think it’s day 14 of Ramadhan ( honestly i’ve lost track of the days…)..i’m doing my emergency medicine posting now..and trust me, it’s fun but so TIRING..aishhh..at first i thought it was as (yeah, maybe a bit) boring as my family medicine posting, but last night changed my own opinion towards this posting.. yesterday, i had to standby / oncall in resuscitation room in A&E from 5 till 8pm ( oh yes, buka pose dkat a&E ok?)..petang’s session mmg lengang..xde patient pun…but once after solat maghrib, there were admissions following an accident..2 patients were involved..i’ve got the chance to witness the resus team take over and tried hard to revive the 1st patient..hell yeah, it was a tough job..with so much adrenaline rushing, and so little time to fight against, in my view, they’ve done their best to save the 1st patient. then came the 2nd patient, with lesser injuries, a bit more stable ( i guess)..but he did have basal skull fracture (based on his “raccoon eyes” appearance..)..

then at 930pm, came another man, with MI i presumed..we did CPR on him for almost 30 minutes, (my first live experience of doing such a thing!!!!!), we did everything we could for him, but i guess kita hanya merancang dan berusaha, in the end, Allah yang decide, and our 3rd patient succumbed..in conclusion: 2 patients died last night..

so in the end, bile nak balik, then only i realized it was 11pm already..meaning that i did an extra of 3 hours of my shift..hahaa..memang penat sangat, tapi again, believe my words, it was worthy..experience’s gained, patient’s saved.. that’s all that matters most,right?

so, do pray that i’ll become a good doctor once i graduate nanti ye! =P…

p/s: Happy Ramadhan..and semoga tahun ini kita semua dirahmati oleh ALLAH..dan diberkati dengan kesihatan yang berpanjangan…aminnn~

hey.. it’s Sunday again..and yes, i bet some of us ( if not, maybe just me~) kinda secretly wishing that it wont be monday tomorrow.. yikes, truth hurts, definitely it is.. i didnt have the mood to study this weekend, maybe bcoz i didnt go home (coz mom’s not home, she’s in PD).. so i’m stuck in college..yesterday was quite fun, me & ira went out for a movie *the Proposal* which has that cute Ryan Reynold in it..but too bad, the GCS service was bad, they stopped the movie before it actually ended..aishh..nevermind, at least the first half was full of laughter. i myself did laughed out loud, in spite of having encik Ira sitting next to us. anyway, then last night, we went out again, this time with nisa, fazrul and fazrul’s friend - amin. we had dinner in damansara, had some Sate and a few gossips. oh c’mon, fazrul n nisa were there, how could we possibly ignore the gossiping part?? aishh.. it was ok though..

then comes the Sunday.. planned of going to the ward today (after failing to do so yesterday) but since i got up a bit late, ( well, not really that late, it’s 715am btw)..so i cancelled it. instead, i read my CPG on DM…and waallaaah..managed to finish it in 2 hours! yikes, i’ve been putting it on hold since friday, and finally i’ve got to get to force myself to read thru it today..

so, i’m going out again today, maybe at 2pm..btw it’s 1.37pm now..going out to meet up with yuz and dila. havent seen them for quite a while (although yuz did give me a ride back home last weekend..haha..thx yuz).. so, gotta go now.

p/s: feeling down lately..the fact that the exam is just around the corner, and i havent polish up my skills in PE made my kind of sad.. again, the insight is good, but the action is zero.. haaa~

bye!